Funny Vows

We all know wedding ceremonies can be a bit...dry/boring. Here are a few ideas to inject into your ceremony to lighten things up a bit. Take them, jchange them, or leave them, what ever suits you.

"I, [Your Name], take you, [Their Name], to be my [lawfully wedded spouse/partner/other term], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death parts us... or until I forget the rest of these vows."

"I promise to love you and have your back, even when you're being a [silly goose/total weirdo/lovable dork]. I vow to be your partner in crime, your fellow food enthusiast, and your co-host of the world's most epic Netflix binge-watching sessions."

"[Their Name], I choose you to be my [spouse/partner/other term] not only because I love you, but also because you make me laugh like no one else. I vow to keep you on your toes, to be your partner in life's adventures, and to always make sure we have enough [snacks/beer/pizza] in the house."

"[Your Name], I take you to be my [spouse/partner/other term], my best friend, my lover, the [funniest/most ridiculous/most adorable] person I know. I promise to love you fiercely, support you unconditionally, and to always be down for spontaneous dance parties, bad pun competitions, and/or numerous rounds of my famous [dish/cocktail]."

Remember, the key to great wedding vows is to keep them genuine, heartfelt, and reflective of your unique relationship. Injecting a bit of humor can make them even more special and memorable. Wishing you all the best!


Here is a short, sweet, and humorous wedding ceremony:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of [Couple's Names] in holy matrimony. Now, before we begin, let's all agree on one thing - there will be no boring, long-winded speeches today. This is a celebration, not a senate hearing!

[Couple's Names], as you two stand before us, remember that love is not just about grand romantic gestures and bouquets the size of small children. It's about finding your perfect partner in crime, the yin to your yang, the one who will laugh at your dumb jokes and eat the last slice of pizza with you.

[Partner 1], do you take [Partner 2] to be your awfully wedded [spouse/partner/other term]? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and maybe occasionally to playfully bicker with, until death does you part?

[Partner 1]: I do, and I also vow to always keep the fridge stocked with [Favorite Snack/Drink].

[Partner 2], do you take [Partner 1] to be your lawfully wedded [spouse/partner/other term]? To love, honor, and obey* (*results may vary), for as long as you both shall live, or until one of you forgets to put the toilet seat down?

[Partner 2]: I do, and I promise to be the best dance partner, Netflix binge-watching companion, and [Silly Nickname] you could ever ask for.

By the power vested in me by the internet and my questionable sense of humor, I now pronounce you [Spouse/Partner 1] and [Spouse/Partner 2]! You may now kiss the [Bride/Groom/Partner] - but please, keep it PG. We've got a party to get to!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the happy couple! May your marriage be filled with laughter, love, and an endless supply of [Favorite Snack/Drink].